Saturday, November 5, 2011

Occupy what now?

Okay, well here is a written blog post. Things have been a little more lax recently so the lack of updates is pretty much just my bad. Though it's been a while, so, yeah.

Not that I feel any desire to join them, but I've been paying attention to the people over on Wall Street. The whole occupy movement is nice, and as much as I would like to support them I don't really fit in with the crowed. I've noticed the kind of people showing up are typically pretty decent seeming all around. I mean, sure, you have your hippies and your hipsters, but they are bound to show up anywhere that showering is not just optional, but shunned. Other then them though is this mass of people who seem to know what they are doing. They are better organized then the media would lead on. But let's just make a profile list of the types of people I have seen so far. Starting with the obvious, of course.

1) The Hippie. They showed up as the white night clad in hemp armor. They spend most of their time playing obnoxious music, getting high, and making the place smell a little worse. They aren't harming anyone though, they are there to show how peaceful the movement is. Who knows, this OWS movement could birth the frozen man if winter is cold enough.

2) The Hipster. Dauntingly close to the hippie's smell, the hipster wades in his own self pity as he drinks his coffee and fiddles with his 5 hundred dollar phone. Many people have stated that the hipster is the greatest of all hypocrites, but I say NO! They only spend money on nice phones. The loan they took out to go to three years of college only to drop out was a real thing, and they demand the payment for their debt in full. The crooks on Wall Street know what they have done, this is their movement! It's high time a new Hip took over the movement and this time it's going to be the hipster! "In all reality though, man, can I bum like ten dollars off of you for some coffee?"

3) The Delegate. This guy isn't camera shy, and he is here to prove a well spoken point to the fat cats at fox news. Speak out my brother, no modern media can tell you no! You are a well spoken individual, you are the one of many, you can do it! Only there are more then one of you. And no matter how well loved you are, you are just going to blend in with the rest of the people there. Welcome back to obscurity friend, you are always welcome here.

4) the "Average". That guy doesn't look like he belongs there, perhaps this movement actually means something! Oh wait, he flashed the cop, yup he's crazy. Oh Mr. Average, you look just like the people who are herded through the day to day rut, but then you do something that makes me feel proud, a little awkward, and intrigued. You make the OWS movement slightly less interesting, but that much more validated. That is until fox gets a picture of your penis, thanks man, we had a good thing going.

5) The Veteran. This guy was in WWII, he fought in Vietnam, he took a bullet for your country. How dare you tell him no. How dare you question his obviously important role. He's not going to stop until he has a heart attack, sadly that could be any moment, because as tenacious as he is, hes really old. Really old. Still, you better respect him, because in that old wheel chair he has a grenade from 1941. And there is no telling if that thing is still active. Run maggots!

6) The Victim. People are being beaten, they are being maced, and they are being forcefully pushed around by the cops. This guy hasn't seen any of that though. He just was told to go to the appropriate area and to stop causing trouble. Now he has a score to settle. "Harassment? Naw dog this guy used his power as a policeman inappropriately and I demand blood!" Sadly now he is going to be beaten, even sadder is none of his friends will care, because he kind of deserved it, you know?

7) The Rich Guy. Oh, what the hell are you doing down here? Wait, you want to support our cause? Oh, okay, well I don't know if I feel comfortable with having "one of you" around. You clearly have money and a house, so why take time off to stand around with us? Oh, you think were doing some good. That's cool. I. guess.

8) The I don't know. "I'm lost guys, why is this cop here? Oh that was my face, it's nice to meet you too Mr. Nightstick. What did I do again?" This guy looks lost, like he didn't want to be there, he was just sort of assimilated by the crowd. Now people are calling him a hero, giving him supplies. He hasn't been able to get home in a long time. I hope his kids are okay.

9) The Muse. Remember the 60's? Ahh man those were the times. Sitting in a park with a guitar playing loving melodies. Let's do that, but instead let's talk about corporate crime! Man who cares if he can't sing, it's for the cause! But he could do with some voice lessons. I'm just saying. Wait, he's wearing a black turtle neck, sunglasses and a beret? Beatniks are back? Holy crap man that's the bees knees!

10) That Guy. He's even at the OWS movement. What is his deal? Nobody likes him, but he seems to make it to every protest ever. Didn't I see him at the anti gay rally two weeks ago? he travels fast. Why is he always wearing that baseball cap, I don't get it, it's fall and you're in New York, there is no sun. Is that a fake tan? Why would you do that? I'm sure he isn't even that dedicated, I bet he sneaks off to shower. It makes me sick, that guy, sick!

That's all the love I can muster for now. Don't be fooled by the way, I really do appreciate what these guys are doing for us. I just don't fully understand all of them. So get out there and support your local occupy movement!

Until next time!